User blog:Dvalliere2008/The Ultimate Video Game Rap Battle Lyrics
WELCOME TO THE BIGGEST GAMING BATTLE OF ALL TIME! THE FIRST RAPPERS WILL BE: PONG VS. BREAKOUT BEGIN! Pong Paddle (Voiced by WoodenHornets): It is me Pong, I will have the starting verse Because I am the original, so I am going first I’m have the most innovative, integrated tech, it’s true because everything you say will bounce off me and break onto you I got formal atari, you think you’re pretty? hardly when I got the better bars see, 2 of them, left and right of me You got easter eggs, I got beeps and boops these noises play, and you’ll see the troops This is game-over for you, you’ve never wippity won this brickity block, just got beat by Pong Breakout Paddle (Voiced by JMB): Nice try Ding Dong, but you’re spitting at whack angles Unlike you, I can keep balls out, honestly, you’re such a shamble! Your flow is even worse than your consoles, I’ll stick with the Odyssey I present a single player challenge! You’re a two player party novelty! Look at my color screen. Stop seeing everything so black and white I’m smashing gaming charts like bricks, and bringing arcaders delight! Your games are so blandly simple that it’s hard to write a diss to So go back to your court and play with your variable resistor! Invader (Voiced by SuperThingsOnCups): It's time I blast your bunkers and send you all to hell! Unlike me your game won't help people Breakout of their shell Invading your wastes of personal space Just look at the facts that you can't really face We'll War through the Worlds when I break my inspiration Spla-boom boom pow from the alien crustaceans See, you've got zero Intel to process this diss, pricks Beep beep, bitch, burst your bricks into eight-bits Asteroid Ship (Voiced by Adam Purski): And to think that this battle had almost gotten worser Well I bring more fear than a 2D cursor With a press of the button, sounds like victory to me Multiply by three, oh wait it’s just these wannabees Flow more smooth than my game, you’ll be in total panic When I...right into this Invader’s flawed mechanics I can’t stand it, I’ll handle it, I’m illest at beating planets I just gave these losers game overs, so you might as well can it PAC-MAN (Voiced by Rock n' Ronald): I’m wakka walking in, put Namco on the map With my jaw wide open; bout to spit some ghostly raps The original gaming pimp displayed in the ‘Sonian Escape from this bit of gaming rapping symposium You only exist to make fat nerds rage I am the pinnacle of gaming, the OG of the Golden Age These inanimate pricks will feel blue once I’m finished Y’all be like… *PAC-MAN Death Sound* once you’re diminished Donkey Kong (Voiced by RLYoshi): How whackawhacka, run back to your Light Buds, ‘Cause I’ll take Puck-man’s kind to the fridge once I’m done! I’m the king of the man made hill, with the first cutscenes as I reckon, Expanding the King Kong’s lore gives birth to the legends! Got more charisma than most of you, even when I’m Cranky, Paved a way for my son to swing back punches in his Country, Try and stop me, Universal doesn’t have what it takes, My rhymes explode, just like a barrel to an oil tank Pitfall Harry (Voiced by TVNicholasKrauss): The classic side-scrolling treasure, and I’ll be the one to slam ya I’m swinging through these vines like an 8-Bit Indiana Spitting limitless Gold Bars, exactly like my legacy With just one *jumping noise* I stacked the money for Atari Prepare disses, traps and tricks, I’m ready to fall Playing with you so called pioneers is like facing a Brick Wall Jumping on crocodiles heads for a living, I’m not caring I’m Active-ision in the jungle, that’s why my rhymes are best-selling Bomberman (Voiced by MarioWorldGuy): The White Bomberman’s here, beating these Balloms with aplomb Erupting this battle by generating bombs from my palms With a Bomb trap in his back, Pit’s end up all the same, Like when your sequel went super and delved into the pit of shame, Not even an artificial comet could expunge me and my Planet Humiliating these fails, less careful than a bunch of bandits Right now, I’m not so Cheerful, this maze won’t be so spacious When I detect you flops coming and emit this blast radius! Tetris Blocks (Voiced by B-Lo Lorbes, Mr. MapleSyrup, MultiSuperVids, & MetalFireVA): There’s no way you’ll be stopping this Russian puzzle machine The classic graphic building blocks who shaped the entire gaming 80s! When our tetrimino rhymes drop out your lines, it won’t be no level cheater, Run back to where you came from cause here comes the rap Fever! We’re stacking up our bars whilst geometricians adore, We'll build our way up to the top; practically made the Commodore! A demoman’s fame couldn’t blast away any of our colored walls Because we laid the foundation and changed gaming once and for all ' Mario and Luigi (Voiced by Stofferex & VGRB):' Let’s start a new legacy of gaming, with the best bros Don’t wage a war on the Gods of Nintendo! There’s not a single soul that doesn’t know our name, it’s impossible We’re spitting fire flowers and now we’re practically unstoppable! Yo, bro, what should we do about these worthless sticks? I say we snap them in half, they think they’re tough like bricks You and winning doesn’t fit just like a wrongly placed piece! (Woo-hoo!) Since after all, we’re the saviors of the gaming industry! Link (Voiced by LyricalGamer): The hero of time is here. hacking slashing through this massive horde Hear these ocarina chords as I'm dashing with the master sword Lash a gash in your back so fast like a mat you’re attached to the floor While I unmask and extract the act of impassible gore Just relax relapse into that nap that you've been asking me for I could subtract my passionate actions along with this adamant core and you still couldn't match my caption with your inadequate lore You see, I separate good from evil you and I are far from equal Just one arrow shot into the dome make your game not have a sequel Mega Man (Voiced by Jetman): Out of all the people here, you’re by far The Weakest, Link I’m a Mega Man, growing in fame, as I watch you shrink Cap-coming for the win, I Rockman this mic all night You’re Mega Busted, you’re fighting the creation of Dr. Light! Even Twilight has a better love story than your Princess! Tremble to your knees like Wily as you’re begging for forgiveness Blasting this elf back to his forest when I put you in your place Spit iller than a Roboenza Virus as I drop the Bass Samus Aran (Voiced by Mel): All these protagonists are Zeros, more plain than the Base Suit, Ridley’s Ripley, Prime-d with a Screw Attack just for you! This Mega-Boy’s the Nerf of games, facing the blood of the Chozo The reigning bounty huntress, you’re all playthings, Amiibos! Blew-Mother Brains with my gender, a planet bustings what I send, Yet not as massive as the shadow stood in by this Other M! Even with a Dark Suit, I could see your loyalty’s misguided, I made Nintendo what it is today, boys, don’t you get too excited! ' ' Ryu (Voiced by SethIsMe): I thought I found worthy opponents, but I guess I was wrong You won’t be able to beat me when you’re five times less strong My fists are ready to punch! The True Dragon has arisen! And I’ll send you all flying with a SHIN SHORYUKEN!!! Leave your heads spinning like a Tatsumaki Sen puk yaku! You’ll all be screaming, when this Raging Demon has struck you! I was trained by Master Gouken, so my defenses can’t be broken! And I’ll blast you all away when I unleash my HADOUKEN!!! Scrooge McDuck (Voiced by Yobar): Your raps are all flat just like you all are visually Diss me? I’m rich, see? The epitome of games from Disney Got the golden lines like Midas, leave y’all in peril! It’s Scrooge but this ain’t no Christmas Carol! Heart blacker than the Beagle Boys, I’m winning, man! Step to me and I’ll buy your entire ninja clan! They’ll be screaming Euroh!! when MC Duck spits ill Leave you Marked and Cent Dented, hollin’ for a dollar bill! Captain Falcon (Voiced by Pool): Come on! I’m about to show these losers that their rhymes are weak! You wanna step up to this? I’ll falcon punch you in the beak! I’m the blue falcon with rhymes so valiant And Kentucky Fried Chicken proves to be F-Zero challenge! I rock this track! Sweep you aside like it was your movie Flattening a shameless tie-in that’s only famous for the Moon Theme! Improve or remove yourself, Scrooge, or you’re sure to lose Next rappers have nothing on me, but show me your moves! Sonic the Hedgehog (Voiced by ShadyVox): ''' Snazzy performances, the Blue Blur’s coming in You’re all too slow, I’m faster than the falcon! Try to catch up with this flow, spit hot like chili dogs The beast is Unleashed, not talkin’ ‘bout Werehogs Mr Duck ‘n Karate Kid with more tricks than Robotnik Drinking up every Falcon Punch; My Spindashes’ll feel like roadblocks, it’s Causin’ Chaos on cheap arcade games Ain’t echkiddin’ ‘round takin’ my Knuckles to your face Keep up the Act! Pop more caps popping capsules So stop your prattle, Orbinaut at all careful Raps? I’m overlappin’! Wish to battle? You’ll be flattened This Sonic Team? I’m the captain! Rascals askin’ to be damaged '''Kirby (Voiced by Zander Peers): Quit it! Let me spit this! Winning this is in your dreams, man The Hip-Hop-Pop Star is droppin’ you straight from Dreamland! Take a step into my universe, I’ll squash blue rejected furbies When you dropped the Sonic Boom, you sucked way more than Kirby! Yeah, I’m Kirby, you know me, all the ladies wanna blow me I’m gonna outflow these boastin’ geeks since you’re all too slow for me I’ll swallow, eat and munch yo’ rhymes like it’s lunchtime! You’re only known to use your legs since you can’t make a punchline! Sub Zero (Voiced by Stofferex): Enough of these kiddie games, people want some blood and gore I’ll deflate this pink puffball and stomp his ass right to the floor Stepping to the gore king, now this fight shall be your last The Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, who will kick some gaming ass Lame excuses for heroes, shatter them when they meet my fist There ain’t no accident, it’s miraculous if you survive my blood apprentice You babies messing with me, I got a psychopathic personality No chiropractor alive will fix you when I perform my fatality Fox McCloud (Voiced by Dusk): General Pepper assigned to me to diss these punks without a blaster Elsa better flee when I drop down with my Landmaster Barrell rolling through your disses, I’ve seen more gore from Andross! I’ll rap like FOXFIRE to cement this Star Warrior’s loss My verse is like a Deflector, shield from your 2-bit disses I’m too Slippy to get caught by you flopping fishes I’ll Ar-wing it and dump on this masochistic frost junky I Super Smash simians! I face no threat from a pack of monkeys! Ness (Voiced by VinnyO): Okay! Looks like a wild badass just appeared! Gee, sure is getting awfully Furry up in here! You may be a Fox, but you’re certainly no Star, Man. Only thing that makes you look decent is your failure of a Star Clan! Slippy can’t shake guys off; Peppy’s stuck in a barrel roll And you fly past many enemies, cause you’re using cruise control If your team of four face Giygas it would be a total Brainshock Now go make out with Falco and buzz buzz off Crono (Voiced by Fable): ''' Trigger’s pulled when you Chrono Cross timeless Samurais No Truce between us as this Titan of time is too fly Blessed by Gaspar to save the present and the solar system I gave life to RPG’s, you’re giving a fetus no competition Earthbound to cry for Mother when you fail like the Chancellor You striked, but had no balls to face Akira’s Commander Master of Square Enix, you’re the Masters of the Kitchen In the End of Time, your relevance has yet to be written '''Crash Bandicoot (Voiced by Stofferex): Whoa! I'm Crashing in, Bootin’ everyone I’m facin’ Smash you harder than a crate, master of the Playstation Spin in like Taz, no creature could be beating me! I'm hopping islands, stoppin’ Cortex and blowing up TNT! I’ll run fast, blast your ass with the help of my mask, "Ooga Booga"! And we’ll stomp on this Saiyan who sure is far from Super! My Minion nemesis put up more of a fight than these knuckleheads! At least when I save my girl, there's not a mushroom waiting instead Lara Croft (Voiced by Leannaire): This animal I'm playing would think a girl needs saving But Bandicoot, dinosaurs I'm braving and Tombs I'm Raiding That's a Pitfall into Uncharted Waters only I could conquer Like ruins, and caves, and temples filled with monsters! You're against a Legend! This will be your Last Revelation! An Angel of Darkness, Crystal Core on Saturn and Playstation! Go Underworld, snuff the Cradle of Life of these haters With flows like Atlantis, call this Rise of the Tomb Raider! Cloud Strife (Voiced by WoodenHornets): ' Interrupting your sunny day when the Cloud drops thunder Against two RPG kids who’d lose to me in a game of numbers And this failed excuse for a heroine that I outsold five-fold! You three mean nothing to me except more XP and gold Flowing like the lifestream, diss harder than my Ultima Weapon clashes No punch or kick can compare to my limitless Omni Slashes I’ll bury all y’all like an avalanche; no strife for this bounty Join the one winged angel as this is your Final Fantasy '''Banjo and Kazooie (Voiced by Frenzy & Skeep☆Tieel''): Time for some adventuring, we’re the kings of Rareware (GUH HU!) You don’t wanna mess with the bird and bear pair We complete the gaming genre, you’re bout to get a lickin’ It’s written in the clouds! You belong in the land of chickens! We got so many worlds and lands you can explore Unbeatable golden-eyed gems, who rocked the 64! We’re spitting Mumbo Jumbo rhymes like Gruntilda the witch You can’t get better gameplay than our cartridge can give Spyro the Dragon (Voiced by Mat4yo): Enter the dragon so fly, hi! I’m Spyro! With wickedest of cowlicks and boiling fire flow I could melt that Banjo with a hiccup! Yo, this is the year of the dragon! So all you lil’ rats better put your fists up I fly faster than gaming’s casual bystanders I’ll scan your Kazooie and prove I’m a true Skylander you can’t douse my power with no kind of device you just got screwed with my kind of fire and ice! Solid Snake (Voiced by Frank Summers): Otacon, touchdown. Messing with a Snake's bad for your health Because my poison leaves Ground Zeroes when I dispense with my stealth You ought to reboot your verse, because you'd be a waste of a Fulton A C4-wielding Hayter's in your midst, so now's time to start boltin' See through Activision with a Solid Eye, can't mask Phantom Pain Crawled through woods like a Snake Eater, you against me is just insane You should swap forces with a Metal Gear so that you stand a chance With a lyrical Nikita blast, you’ll look like Liquid at first glance Pyramid Head (Voiced by RLYoshi): On your mind, now off it, made killing an art form The Sound of Music then I brought Hills Silent once more Bust a Buster with a Great Knife harder than all of Fox’s I waste more people than you waste cardboard boxes You’ll be shaken to your hearts, your flesh paper, bones brittle Make you seek a Brookhaven, definitely need a hospital This is the Bogeyman’s Homecoming, rapping at my core leaving you like Otacon, soon this’ll be a slippery floor Trainer Gold (Voiced by Joshua Tomjin): Arriving from Johto, a wild Trainer appears The golden mastermind of what’s inside this red and white sphere Your franchise is forgotten, something you should reminisce I’m golden like my lines, you’re less selected than Kris Blazing like a Cyndaquil, with Totodile like flow Chikorita putting out the grass, running at what it throws My journey and victory’s what I’ll always evoke You’re like an empty Pokedex given by Professor Oak The Sims (Voiced by JMB, TheSuperPlushyBros, & Joshua Tomjin): This is the era of the Sims, the real life simulation With the best selling games, inspiring a generation I’m spewing the Simlish disses to knock rejected Red! If you’re gonna Poke-buse, go host a cock fight instead Give up, you guys will never receive Aspiration points We spit it virtually indelible, we never disappoint Step into our territory, you’ll learn that it’s quite serious Once you’re vanished right after the 25 day period Master Chief (Voiced by HyperJacob96): Cortana said to ride out these sucker phantoms, These Sims are more convoluted than their expansions Combat has Evolved, you'll all fade to black You'll be bitch slapped even worse than The Didact I’m a Spartan super soldier kicking ass since childhood And I'll cut you down more than an energy sword could So let us reach a Covenant, for all of us to agree That it's best to stand down against the Master Chief The Lich King (Voiced by LemonCheng24): This means Warcraft! My Icecrown will leave you with a Halo! As Frostmourne devastates Sims worse than a tornado! As Ner’Zhul guides me I’ll bring a Scourge upon these strangers Spitting a Blizzard that is colder than Chief’s sleep chamber With a flow ancient as Azjol-Nerub I’ll burn you by the Legions Put an end to these furries, call it an Open Season It’s the Wrath of the Lich King, you have awoken Arthas All life must end, though I seem to be heartless Sora (Voiced by The Aussie-Can): Dream Droppin’ in to spit some bars from the darkness It won’t take many incarnates to know that you are all Heartless You’re only known for your notorious fan bases, like Sonic’s Be in the limelight then become Nobodies in the process All of you will remain locked up in a Chain of Memories I Roxas the mic with the Keyblade to unlock true victory You all don’t have the Heart to accept your Kingdom come My abilities were Birthed by Sleep, so you’d better just succumb Viewtiful Joe (Voiced by NIIC The Singing Dog): There’s no originality for this boring Cloud clone Got my V-Watch applied, I’m taking the gaming throne I’m a superhero! Don’t need time reversing to save me Get ready to lose your Life Marks, Henshin-a-go-go, baby! Try and escape from this Viewtiful whipping in Mach Speed Film this beating on VFX, going slow-mo in 2D No need for burgers when I make you all feel Captain Blue, Unleashing the Six Machine! Like the Jadow, you’re screwed Gordon Freeman (Voiced by EDXBeats): I’ll break down your engines, and fix this at the Source Revolutionizing things is the par for my course So, with a Shotgun to the verse and a Crowbar to the face I’ll destroy those who oppose the PC Master Race Speaking my mind is usually against my policy But I bet you’ve never seen a G Modernize flawlessly 30 frames strong, you’re all slow as molasses So, It’s time to for you to wake up and smell the ashes Kratos (Voiced by NemRaps): You dare step to a God? You’ll just create a game War! Step to the Ghost of Sparta and taste hordes of Minotaurs! I ended Freeman’s spree, start spamming your controller buttons, My moves are iconic, your defenses are all for nothing! Clean the sewer pipes with a space-hog, I don’t need pieces of Croft, I’m killing you off like Ares I’m a demigod, you don’t scare me! Sweet fluid movements, you could compare me to Jaffe cake Thought that you could defeat me? Ha! That’ll be your last mistake! Wander (Voiced by Kevin Krust): After the battles I’ve fought in and the wars that I’ve seen I stepped up so that I could reshape the game industry I’ll remain dormant while Dormin guides my flow While I demean any one track franchise in mono You’re all failures, poor ungodly souls After Colossus? I’ll easily cut down these trolls I evolved gaming, you’re all pre-rendered crap I didn’t Wander into battle, I rode in on horseback Amaterasu (Voiced by Leannaire): Okami on, the Shinto’s the only one who tries? I’m heaven’s illumination, beware this deity’s fiery cries *Giggles* With my Celestial Brush I’ll draw this battle out Paint a picture of Wander, this David’s bladeship’s in doubt *Howls* Embody the Sunrise, this wolf’s hounding in the Yen! I’ll keep flowing, like I’ve an Inkfinity Stone with no end Tower over colossi as I take Kratos’ like Nagi’s duty Seize victory and bring more terror than I did as Shiranui Robloxian (Voiced by CMRB): If you duel with this Robloxian, you better start to speed run I’ll slash you in a sword fight for stepping to the Builder’s Club Like many of my Obbys, I’m difficult to beat I don’t give 2 Robux! I’ll leave you noobs in defeat Try to survive my Natural Disasters, it’s impossible! With my speed and gravity coils, I’m unstoppable! I’m getting badges and tickets, you’re getting banned in the end Ha! Even Builderman wouldn’t want to be your friend! Desmond Miles (Voiced by Froggy): I’m known for putting men to silence; you should do so with your verse You can look to me for guidance, like an eagle on its perch Eavesdropping rhymes, and I’ll loot you with precision There’s no time for remission; you couldn’t see me with Eagle Vision I'll take a leap of faith, sneak attack and give you scars Then rap Miles around you! I'll end you like a Templar It's the end of your world! Your ass-assin’s creed is history! Altair's descendant has left you nothing but a memory Niko Bellic (Voiced by Nathan Provost): ''' I’m stealing the spotlight, you’re one to pity! Because I'll mug you punks like Liberty City! And this won't be pretty, always brave enough for gritty While Desmond here couldn’t simulate titties! Something my cousin likes to blabber about, But I don’t need to mention peers just to make these bitches shout From this Grand Theft lyrical crisis that I’m commitin’ With this shotgun, I’ll spread you fuckers out like the pigeons! '''Cole MacGrath (Voiced by Dusk): Woke up from the explosion, looked around to see These retro pricks trying to face me and my electricity! Eclipsed by Saint’s Row? I was there First, son Feel the wrath of MacGrath, delivering real hurtin’ Mr. Freeman assumed he could escape through the “Steam Valve”! But D Conduit’s confirmed your karma can’t cross my Power Canal Twice any All-Star, I’ll really be getting into this First Light shines, your games are all InFamous Red Bird (Voiced by MaNCHA): You wouldn't like me when I'm angry! Bringing the hurt! Because an "electric personality" won't work with this bird I'll crash through these pigs, like steel and islands Took an empire down while CJ here was stealing diamonds! Come with a real Veste-backer! The global mobile mogul! Bring three times the blues, make you stay in local! Fight you to Rio, or Transform this fight to Star Wars! This level's over, the three gold stars aren't yours. Ethan Mars (Voiced by JMB): You’ll find that I can flow harder than Shelby’s crane Hitting with more power than some flappy birdbrain Paige’ll put on the page that I take the stage I Wander if this mage is brave enough to make a play Like Jayden’s drug pain my win’ll buzz like triptocaine Treat Postman Pat with disdain, your profit’s gravy train The way I Move, you know I’m ahead of the game With my rhymes pouring down on you like a Heavy Rain Alex Mason (Voiced by Kyenza): Heeding the Call of Duty, Black Ops'll leave you in the dark A bigger battlefield than Battlefield to take you punks apart I'll tear this planet, just like too much Origami! Put down Silent and the real quiet, just like Konami! This battle's a bigger drag than Dragovich, ask Reznov May not be Zombies but I'm still good for taking heads off Lethal as a tomahawk as my lyrics arc towards their targets Don't need Advanced Warfare to show you I'm the hardest! Steve (Voiced by Fel): I’m spawning in to show this depressed man who’s The Player You can’t stop this Void jumping, Ender Dragon Slayer Crafting art like these raps, adding armor for my power The elite, meat-eating, tree punching, pro survivor Time to kick this up a Notch, I’m sure that you’re frightened Your chances of winning are like finding a diamond Microsoft wanted us, your games left me in aGhast, Mojang’s top money maker, this is Minecraft! The Traveler (Voiced by Emo Owl): Set out on a Journey to make you lose as you're lost, To now the only one amongst you who can really walk their talk, Now The Traveler's attacking as all your scarves unraveling, Liven this beat while these cretin’s defeat’s happening Rap right ‘round a square and the Enix-abandoned kiddies I’ll be a Glowing Symbol as I start my Descent to this atrocity All I did was take a trip, and I sold faster than Notch sold out You wish this was multiplayer so it’d only be a wordless shout.... Joel and Ellie (Voiced by JMB & ArcaidianSonnetVA): After everything we’ve been through, thrust into ridiculousness Unstring Tom Baker’s scarf because we’re in the graphics business Walk around these living like the undead, know it’s our time Unload the El Diablo on this Shorty of a walking wind chime Doesn’t take an apocalypse to show you don’t have no flOw Or blades, wits or gameplay, I could take you down with an arrow! I’ve smuggled in a way to ensure that you’ve lost your guts *zombie grunt* Accept your fate. I’m chosen to be the Last of Us. Shovel Knight (Voiced by HarryPotter2875): For foes like this, I won’t need to steel thy shovel Pounding through your raps like dirt with the dust knuckles I survived through knights, phantoms, and kings, and moles While Joel almost died from a rebar pole I went from indie to mainstream in just mere days Take advice from me; free DLC for play! Might as well call me the winner, I’m the one with the best plot Now I’m off to go chill with my backers on my yacht! The Sole Survivor (Voiced by Josh Chicester): War.... war never changes… Two hundred years ago, I started a journey Culminating in putting retro gaming on a gurney This so called knight hasn’t seen a real man My Brotherhood’s steel, not Desmond’s Ad Victoriam Institutionalize, run railroads underground undercover I’ve got the commonwealth, two flows, Cryo-fire brother This is real gaming, players fallout from your aged doctrine Game over for this Dogmeat, I took the Nuclear Option Geralt of Rivia (Voiced by Jim Van Dusen): A Master Monster Hunter, sole survivors can't kill me I set the world on fire with a splash of Igni I use my witcher senses to give families some help While you're too busy farming and dooming the Commonwealth The gaming critics on my side, squash out the bugs you're ridden with Bethesda’s quite the letdown, shoulda left it to Obsidian Geralt has taken this battle, let me make myself clear There's a reason why I won the Game of the Year Category:Blog posts